My Grandmother

circa: 1940's

My grandmother, in her 20's, holding my Aunt Connie

When my grandmother passed away, six years ago today, unfortunately I was unable to travel to Maine for her funeral. My oldest son, Tyler, was graduating from high school on the day the service was planned. It broke my heart not to be there for her but I knew that I had to be there for my son on this great milestone in his life---his adult life was just beginning and my grandmothers had just ended. At the time I decided that the next best thing to being there was to share my feelings on paper and ask my Uncle Steve to read it for me. He was more than happy to do it for me, and I greatly appreciated it.

I still miss hearing my grandmother's voice...I have dreamed of hearing her voice on only one occasion, just after my sister passed away. In my dream the phone rang and when I answered it, it was my grandmother saying hello to me. Then my sister came on the phone saying, "boy, I bet you are surprised to hear from me?!" And I was.....unfortunately those types of dreams never last long enough.

I thought I would post what I wrote as a tribute to my grandmother, when she passed away, to reflect once again on my life with her and how special she was to me:

My grandparents (Meme and Papa, as they were lovingly referred to, by my siblings and I) were extremely pivotal people in my life. I spent a lot of time with them while I was growing up, and I know that I am the person I am because they loved me so much.

My memories are many…and not a day goes by that something doesn’t happen to remind me of a special time or place with them: The smell of bacon cooking reminds me of waking up to my Papa cooking breakfast for Meme and me. Driving by K-mart reminds me of how Meme would take me shopping and we would run to the blue light specials as they were announced. Even reading the morning paper, I am reminded of how excited I was the first time Papa handed me a part of the newspaper to read over breakfast. It was only the comic page but I sure felt like an adult. The roses blooming on my rose bush reminds me of all the years on my birthday that my grandmother took my picture in front of her beautiful rose bush. What a wonderful tradition it was and I looked forward to it every year. My grandmother has told me that a very young age, as we would drive to her house I would instantly recognize the hill on King Ave and would get very excited to be going to Meme and Papa’s house. That feeling has never subsided over the years. Meme and Papa’s house has always been a place of love, happiness and my stability. Since, as a child, I moved around a lot with my family, I could always count on the little red house on King Ave and the phone number there always staying the same.

For now, the peace I receive is that I know my grandparents are together again and like Papa waiting for Meme, I know that they both will be waiting for me with loving, open arms.

I will always remember our last phone conversation on Mother’s Day, just two weeks ago. At the time I am not sure if she understood the magnitude of her words and what love I felt as she said her last words to me, she said: “You have been a wonderful Granddaughter.” I will cherish those last words forever.

I love you Meme—you are forever in my heart, thoughts and all my precious memories.

Love,

“Your Little Tina”

May 2003

June 17, 1967

Me & Meme